Though many people in Wilmington turn to horoscopes and psychics to try to predict the future, nothing has been proven to know what will happen before it happens. Still, when somebody experiences a major life event, other people often can point to signs that the event was bound to happen.
This tends to be true when it comes to divorce. Some divorces seem to come out of nowhere for the couple’s friends and loved ones. But most of the time, there were clues that the marriage was in trouble, even if the spouses did not realize it themselves at first.
According to TODAY, there are four relationship problems that, if they regularly happen between spouses, will lead to divorce in 90 percent of marriages. Those signals are:
Toxic criticism
Constructive criticism between spouses can be healthy. But toxic criticism can be destructive to a relationship. This includes generalized criticism like, “You never listen to me” or “You never take out the garbage.” Statements like these feel like attacks on your character instead of a discussion of the actual issue. They rarely solve the problem and create hurt feelings instead.
Defensiveness
When someone criticizes their spouse, many spouses react by getting defensive instead of acknowledging that their husband or wife could have a point. Focusing on defending yourself instead of trying to empathize with your spouse means your disagreements will likely never get solved.
Stonewalling
Another unproductive response to criticism is stonewalling, also known as the silent treatment. This is not to say that de-escalating an argument or even taking a break is not allowed. But avoiding confrontation or pretending a problem is not there will not solve the problem.
Contempt
Your spouse using passive-aggressive communication like rolling their eyes, imitating you or making sarcastic remarks does not communicate their feelings honestly or respectfully. They just make you feel like they don’t like you. Over time, contemptuous behavior like this can cause growing resentment. Experts say that contempt between spouses is the number-one indicator that they will get divorced.
Whatever problems have led to you (or your spouse) considering divorce, you will need to make sure matters like property division and child custody are settled as fairly and efficiently as possible.
